Is the G-spot real?

Yes! The G-spot is very much real. It is a part of female pleasure anatomy. If you have a vulva and a vagina - you have a g spot! 

Why is the G spot surrounded with so much mystery?

The G-spot is shrouded with mystery for many reasons.

1. It can be tricky to find - It sits in a different place for everyone

2. It feels very different depending on how turned on you are - This means you often can’t feel it at all if you're not turned on yet! AND THIS TAKE TIME!

3. No education -very few people know what it is or how to stimulate it properly. This means lots of people have bad or uncomfortable experiences and decide it’s not for them 

4. What it feels like really varies from person to person - For some people it is a very pleasurable spot that can lead to knee shaking orgasms and female ejaculation/squirting! For others…not so much! Stimulation here might feel average or even painful or uncomfortable. That's why it’s so important to listen to your body.

Okay so what IS the G spot?

The G-spot (or G-crest) is actually not a spot. It’s a whole ‘crest’ of spongy tissue that surrounds the urethra - the tube that carries wee from the bladder and out of the body. This is called the ‘urethral sponge’ and the G-spot sits somewhere along there. You can feel it by inserting a finger and stroking the top wall of the vagina (think “in and up!’’ heading towards your belly button!)

Where is the G spot?

For some people their G spot is very near the outside of the body (only a centimetere or so inside the vagina) but for most people it’s about 1-2 inches or so inside. For others, it might be too deep to reach with fingers alone. That’s where G-spot toys and wands come in!

Why does it feel good when touched?

The G-Spot - like the clitoris - is made out of erectile tissue, meaning it fills with blood when you’re aroused / turned on. This means it becomes bigger, more sensitive, and more pleasurable to touch.  (yep, we get erections too!)

Remember - this takes time, and it only feels good when you are already really really aroused / engorged. I’m talking 20-30 minutes! So slow down and stimulate OUTSIDE the body (the vulva and clitoris) before doing any internal touch.

You might read some things about the G spot also feeling great because you are massaging the clitoris from the inside, and that is also true! 

The clitoris has a whole network inside the body, branching out into two ‘legs’ and ‘bulbs’ around the vagina. Internal touch from fingers, a toy, or a penis can often stimulate other parts of the clitoris from the inside - especially when you are really turned on and it’s filled with blood.

What does it feel like?

When you’re really really turned on it is filled with blood, and this ‘erection’ means you can actually feel it. It feels slightly ribbed, harder and textured and might feel really pleasurable. When you're not turned it often just feels spongy and like the rest of the vagina. It might feel uncomfortable or even painful.

How can I find the g spot?

You can stimulate the G Spot by gently (and with lots of lube and ONLY when they are ready) insert a toy or finger into the vagina and stroke the top wall of the vagina. Think towards the belly button.

I recommend doing this in lots of different ways to work out what feels good for you / them because it really is very different for everyone. It can also feel different one day to the next so open communication is key! Isn’t it always?

Strokes for hitting the G Spot 

Using your fingers to find the G Spot:

• The  ‘Come Hither’ -gently insert your index finger or first two fingers inside the vagina, getting them to breathe deeply. Slowly start to move in a ‘come here’ motion towards the belly button. Start slow, and see if you can feel their G spot. If it feels good, experiment with building intensity, and find a rhythm they enjoy. If you’re not sure - ask! 
• The Pulse - Hold your hand still and gently pulse your finger or the pad of your thumb against the G-spot. Start slow and gentle, and increase speed and pressure if it is feeling good. Gradually Increasing to a harder, faster pulse at the same time as clitoral touch can feel amazing (and is often what causes squirting!) 
• The Rocker - Put your middle two fingers inside the vagina palm up so that your pinky and index finger can massage and slide either side of the labia as you enter. Slowly start to move your hand in and out, gliding the pads of the middle two fingers across the G spot.

How to use a G spot toy to find the G Spot 

All of these motions are great on somebody else's body, but it can be reallyyyy tricky on your own to reach your g spot and give it the great, continuous stimulation you’re craving.

Look for a toy with a curved or a bulbed in if you want to explore g-sport stimulation on your own!

There are lots of different material options (glass, silicon, crystal, metal, ceramic) and many are also vibrators for extra stimulation. 

Why choose a crystal wand?

I wanted to shine a light on a style of toy you may not have heard of or considered before - the rose quartz crystal pleasure wand!

I love crystal sex toys for a number of reasons:

• Temperature: They can be heated up or cooled down beforehand which adds a great extra sensation, and they  change temperature with your body
• Hygiene: They are very easy to clean - just warm water and soap 
• Beauty: Just look at them!
• All lubes work: Use your massage oil or lube of choice - all will work safely
• Self care: There is something far more self indulgent about self pleasuring with crystal vs something made out of plastic or silicon.It just feels…better.
• Gspot and Cervical pleasure:  The thicker curved end on this wand is perfect for G-spot stimulation and the slimmer end can be used for cervical massage

How to use a wand to pleasure the G spot

• Dearmoring  - Slowly place the tip of the wand at the entrances of your vagina. Just hold and deep breathe. This is called dearmoring. Feel the wand start to heat up, you body start to relax and soften, and if you like add a gentle, slow pulse
• Hold, breathe and squeese - Once you’re ready, breathe deeply and let your body breathe in the wand at its own pace, curved end in. Allow the toy to press gently against your gspot. Just hold and breathe, and experiment with different pressures & placements. Squeeze your kegel floor muscles around the toy. Can you find a spot that feels best? 

Alice Child (she/her) is an experienced, trauma-informed Somatic Sexologist, Sex Educator and Sex Counsellor, certified with the Australian School of Somatic Sexology.

Alice helps individuals and couples improve their intimacy, deepen their connection and navigate the inevitable sex & intimacy challenges that happen in life. 

Working out of her own practice in Sydney Mosman and globally via telehealth she creates a safe, welcoming, and trauma-informed space. Her workshops, counselling, hens parties and online couples programs have brought sexual happiness to thousands of people globally. 

Alice frequently talks, writes and speaks on a range of sexuality topics and has a monthly column. She has appeared in Cosmo, Mens Health, Refinery29, Stylist, Body&Soul, Fashion Journal, Daily Star, Stylist, Mamamia, Popsugar among others, and works with universities to remove the taboo around sex education.

Qualifications

• Clinical Foundations in Gottman Method Couples Therapy, Level 1 , Gottman Institute, 2023
• Certified Somatic Sex Educator, Institute of Somatic Sexology, 2022
• Certified Sexological Bodyworker and Somatic Sexologist, Institute of Somatic Sexology, 2021
• Member of Somatic Sex Educators’ Association of Australasia
• Founding Graduate, Future of Sex Sextech School, 2020
• Lifeline Crisis Counsellor, Australia, 2020
• BA English Literature and Language, Nottingham University